How to Interpret Dreams You Have About Practically Anyone

Once, not all that long ago, I had a dream about a co-worker I barely worked with. This person and I didn’t interact all that much. So why were they showing up in my dreams? It was unnerving and I wasn’t quite sure what to make of it — or the other seemingly random and not so random people who’ve popped up in my dreams before.

While a dream about someone like a significant other might seem obvious, there are possible interpretations that are pretty unexpected. The same can be said for the sleep-time appearance of a celebrity or a parent.

Autumn Fourkiller, Indigenous mystic and writer behind the Dream Interpretation for Dummies newsletter, and Lauri Quinn Loewenberg, professional dream analyst and author, tell the Cut how to interpret the people and scenarios we envision in our dreams the most. Whether it’s an ex, a parent, a co-worker, or even a celebrity, keep reading to find out why, for better or for worse, we can’t seem to get them out of our heads.

.

If you dream about your ex …

“The most common ex that we tend to dream about is our first love. In fact, we’ll dream about that person even 50 years since we’ve been with them,” says Loewenberg. The reason why that particular ex tends to keep showing up in our dreams is that they symbolize what first love feels like — passion, excitement, always wanting to be together, being desired, and all those magical feelings. So the first love will show up whenever our current relationship gets a little routine and humdrum and we need to spice it up and bring back those feelings. They can also show up when we’re in a dry spell and we haven’t been in a relationship for a while.”

According to Fourkiller, ex dreams are all about the past. “Not to get too deep in the weeds here, but I’m a young millennial with young millennial friends, and that means I have been asked about dreaming about an ex too many times to count,” says Fourkiller. “My rule of thumb is that it almost never means you should get back with said ex, especially if it was a horrible terrible relationship that I was always very happy to commiserate about the first time around but that, if you ignore my dream advice, I will probably not be as happy to again. Ex dreams are simply about the past, about what we’ve left there. About the parts (not persons) that may be salvageable from it. About showing grace to ourselves.” | More on dreams about exes …

.

If you dream about your mother …

“Ah, the mother. Part of the triplicate of the maiden, mother, and crone. When it comes to dreams with archetypes, sometimes the most obvious answer is the most true,” says Fourkiller. “They follow Occam’s Razor in that respect. So when dreaming of a mother (or your mother) we must think about the traditional elements associated with motherhood, like nurturing, and ask ourselves if we are neglecting to nurture ourselves, a relationship, a dream, etc. If dreaming about your mother specifically, that could mean that it is time to interrogate that relationship, what it has left you with, and what it is doing to you now. Sorry.”

According to Loewenberg, dreams about mothers are more common than those about fathers. “We tend to dream about the mother more than the father figure. In fact, on average, we tend to dream of our mothers or a mother figure about once a week. It’s important to remember, though, especially when you’re figuring out what the different people in your dream mean, that all figures actually represent a part of yourself. The dreaming mind will show us the different bits of our personality in the form of a person. So, that being said, if you’re a mother and you dream about your mother or a mother figure, that’s going to represent your role as mom. Pay attention to how she is in the dream. Is she helpful? Is she ill? Is she dying? Is she in trouble? However she is portrayed in the dream is a reflection of how you are seeing yourself as a mom.”

Loewenberg adds: “If you’re not a mother, then go ahead and look at your current relationship with your mom. If there’s no issue there, then she will represent the part of you that is nurturing, takes care of yourself, and is nurturing to others around you.”

.

If you dream about your co-workers …

“If it’s a co-worker you deal with on a daily basis — someone you work closely with — then they probably will be playing themselves,” says Loewenberg. “And so whatever is going on in the dream will reflect whatever is going on between you and the co-worker in real life.”

But how about a co-worker you don’t interact with often? Loewenberg says the following: “They’re going to represent some part of yourself. So ask yourself — and this is a rule that you want to apply with every person that shows up in your dream — what stands out to you about this co-worker? What is their outstanding quality? What is the first thing you think of when you think about this co-worker? Maybe the co-worker you’re dreaming about is a tech expert and is really good at fixing computers if something goes wrong. Apply that quality to yourself. Do you need to take on that quality just for your job or in general? Do you feel that you need to be more of a get-it-done-and-fix-it kind of person?”

While Fourkiller agrees that the dream about your co-worker “could definitely be a reflection of what is happening” in your real waking life, she adds that “work dreams always signify to me a rootedness there, in the realm of work. I totally understand this. Capitalism is rough. I think these kind of dreams can present a message that, ‘Hey, there is work that needs to be done elsewhere.’ Usually you’ll be able to tell. If the co-worker is berating you, it is time to take a step back. If you and the co-worker are in happy collaboration, despite not having worked together before, it is probably a good sign and there is excavating to be done.”

.

If you dream about a significant other …

“Pay really close attention to their behavior and their condition in the dream,” instructs Loewenberg. For example, a really common dream we’ll have surrounding our significant other is that we can’t find them … That can indicate one of two things. It could mean that you miss them and that you’re not spending enough time with them, because maybe they’re always working or maybe it’s a long-distance relationship. The other thing it can mean is that you’re looking for a way to better connect — remember that couples can live together yet have no connection anymore.”

Fourkiller also urges you to home in on the details of your dream. “It depends on the dream, the emotions behind it, but a significant other dream can be a happy thing, an ‘I’m so in love with the person’ thing, or a message that says you need to pay less attention to this person and more attention to what is going on in your own life and heart.”

.

If you dream about your significant other cheating …

“First, has there been infidelity in this relationship? If yes, that just shows that there’s still distrust,” says Loewenberg. “But if this dream seems to be coming out of left field and you have no reason at all to suspect them, the dream doesn’t mean that they are cheating. It can mean that you feel that there is a third wheel in the relationship, like work or golf or a new baby — something that is causing you to feel cheated out of your time and attention with the significant other.”

Fourkiller also points to previous cheating as an important factor. “Don’t jump to conclusions! Just like a death dream, this doesn’t mean that they are cheating. Unless they have before. Then they might be,” she says. “If they haven’t, though, think about the material reality of the relationship. Have you been spending enough time together? What is lacking here? Am I being supported? Am I supporting? All that.”

.

If you dream about your significant other dying …

“Don’t look at that literally! Dreams are symbolic,” Loewenberg reassures. If you look at it literally, you’re going to freak yourself out. In a dream, death represents something ending or changing. So, is there some kind of big change going on in your relationship? Are you reaching a new level? Did you suddenly get engaged? Or is your significant other changing in some way? Have they lost a lot of weight? Did they get a promotion, and now there’s not enough time with each other and that relationship is changing in that respect? Assess things with that kind of approach.” Fourkiller agrees that a shift is on the horizon. “This relationship is about to evolve, big time. It does not mean that they are about to keel over.” | More on dreams about death …

.

If you dream about someone who has already died …

For this one, Fourkiller says the interpretation depends on your personal beliefs. “I am someone who believes the dead can visit us, that they can give us messages or just drop by. If you’re not, though, think about what messages (though perhaps not literal) your brain is trying to bring you by presenting this person to you. Is it a message of grief? Of love? Of warning?”

“If you dream of someone who has died, they will likely represent a personality trait that you both share,” Loewenberg adds. “Or they can represent who you were when they were alive and in your life. For example, if you have a childhood friend who has passed away and you dream of them, they could represent who you were back when you were friends and they were alive.”

.

If you dream about someone famous …

“Celebrities are really fun to dream about! One of the most common dreams of a celebrity is that you’re friends with them and you’re hanging out with them,” says Loewenberg. “It can be a celebrity you really like or it can be someone who seems random … Regardless, the celebrity is going to represent some part of yourself that, like a celebrity, you feel deserves recognition and perhaps even applause. Ask yourself what the celebrity is best known for. Is it a song? Look at the title or the lyrics of that song because chances are there will be something relevant to your life in either the title or lyrics. If the celebrity is an actor, are they best known for a TV show or a movie? Then ask yourself if something is relevant to you in the title of that show or movie, in the story line, or, perhaps, in the character they play — maybe you relate to that.”

Unless you recently watched something with that particular celebrity, Fourkiller says this dream may actually be about your own desire for recognition. “Did you watch a movie with them in it? If not, let’s talk about recognition and celebration. There is a part of you that deserves to be recognized and celebrated, and it’s probably not being recognized or celebrated,” she says. “Can you identify that part? Can you see it?”

.

On the celebs who appear in dreams most often:

“I remember there was a time when Oprah was the most dreamt of celebrity … but I would say that, overall, in all the years I’ve been doing this, it would probably be the president at the time that I get asked about the most,” says Loewenberg. For Fourkiller? “Not gonna lie, it’s Nic Cage. Maybe I’m just friends with a bunch of Nic Cage superfans, but he comes up more often than you think. My subscribers and clients are much less likely to submit a dream for interpretation that has to do with celebrities, though perhaps that’s because they think it is less worthy of interpretation.”

The takeaway: Fourkiller notes that even the silly dream you deem unworthy of interpretation still has significance. “Not every dream necessarily has a meaning, but all dreams are important. Even if they’re silly. Even if they’re scary. And so on,” she says. “Knowing whether a dream is worth interpreting is up to the dreamer themself, and it is something that only comes with time. I cannot decide for you what is important, I can only guide you into (hopefully) a deeper self-knowledge, one that you will use to add weight and importance to your own experience, which will in turn let you value your mind, your thoughts, and yes, always, your dreams.”

In general, Fourkiller says dream interpretation can be an incredibly subjective practice. “My interpretations are rooted in both a personal spiritual practice, and, if we’re getting technical, probably a Jungian-inspired one, too. So with that in mind, your interpretation might be different than one I might come up with, but that doesn’t make it less true,” she says. “My rule of thumb here is to not disregard obvious conclusions, but to never settle on a final interpretation until everything has been sorted through. Make sure to pay attention to themes, emotions, archetypes, etc. This will help you dig deeper, reflect, and not lean on surface-level analysis.”

Our Experts:

More Dreams Deciphered

• Dream Experts Explore Why You’re Dreaming About Your Teeth Falling Out
• What Does It Mean If You Dream About Fish?
• What Does It Mean If You Dream About Dogs?

See All